New Poems

Posted: February 26, 2013 in Uncategorized

After being outcast, now he’s the lone alpha wolf;

Doing what he wants, not what he’s told.

Now wishing for his lover that he used to nuzzle;

Those cold lonely nights they spent cuddled.

Then days spent without each other;

He loved his beta and couldn’t have wished for another.

He was getting older, and couldn’t have fought him;

So he lost in the end; to a wolf who swooped in.

Mourning over his lover;

And he died painfully knowing that at least she’d be happy now with another.

Honestly I’m losing my religion…

Don’t know what’s right; what’s wrong.

Can’t keep going cause I’m not strong.

Starting not to believe in God.

My days are shorter and my nights are long.

Questions and emotions and other things racing through my head; even when I lay in bed.

I’m too far gone, don’t know if I’m coming back.

Cause someone once told me I need to change my life path; I still think about that.

That moment when my eyes opened; my life changed.

Everything now is messed up and re-arranged.

Can’t take this; my life is as gloomy as spring rain.

It’s always fall; that time when I promised I would give my all.

Then winter came, when I was down and leaves fell off my branches; the world covered in white blankets.

Will everything ever change for me?

Cause right now, I’m not the person I want to be.


So I have a confession….I’m bi, but I have a preference for girls. And it bothers me when people call me out on it. Yes, I admit I had a crush on her last semester, but did she really have to go and call me out for it? Like really? Get over it; the past is the past. This is exactly what she said: “Give me a dollar and I’ll give you a hug and kiss on the cheek cause I know you like me.” I had already given them all away just not to her, and I bought food and something to drink. I accidentally typed her, having a brain cramp. Yes, I might have a crush on her just a little bit now, okay a lot, but don’t call me out like that! That was a blow to my ego I’m not gonna lie…..and I want that kiss still because I’ve never gotten a kiss from a girl…I just hope it leads to something. And my last relationship with a guy and a girl failed….JJ was suicidal and T-Streets my nickname for Taquia, stopped texting me and calling, so I gave up, but never forgot about the love we had. I still remember; our memories together play over and over like a broken record. I just want to be loved; I want a relationship that lasts. I’m tired of being dumped; I just want love. Honestly, is that too much to ask for?

The First Snow (Prologue to Snow Angels)

This was the day that changed everything…..

I had met Jesse when I started kindergarten at Masonry Mountain School for Young Boys and Girls. I wasn’t a werewolf yet, and I didn’t know I was going to become one either. But when I first saw her, I knew it was true love, even though we were only five years old then…..

The morning before the first day of school, I was sitting down eating breakfast. Then my mom entered, pouring a cup of coffee and helping herself to some toast, eggs, and bacon Dad had made before leaving for work.

“Jake, I’ve got your clothes in your room. I know you’re not going to like them, but that’s the dress code. When you get home from school you can change, I promise.”

I quickly finished my breakfast, and went up to my room. Sitting on the bed was a white long-sleeved button-up shirt, a navy tie, a red plaid sweater vest, gray pants, black socks, a navy jacket with the school logo on it, and black shoes. I couldn’t believe my eyes, is that what I really had to wear?!

“Mom, come on! Do I really have to wear this? Why do I even have to go to a private school?”

“Because that’s the dress code for Masonry. And we don’t want you going to a public school; and we have enough money, so that’s why you’re going there. No more questions, now get dressed.”


I looked at the clothes with digust, but undressed all the way down to my boxers and put them on. Mom helped me with the tie and left. What next? Carrying all my textbooks with a belt? I looked into the mirror, and I acually didn’t looked too bad. I looked handsome, spiffy, (I think that’s the word Mom used), and super cool. I brushed my teeth in my bathroom, then went downstairs. The backpack matched my jacket, and Mom had taken to packing it last night. The bus came, I kissed Mom goodbye, and she wished me good luck. She waved goodbye, then the bus’ doors shut and we drove away. It was a long ride, but then after going up the mountain (that day I learned where the name came from!), we arrived….

When all the buses arrived, the teachers were waiting. My teacher, Mrs. Kirsten, took my hand and introduced herself. Then I saw Jesse, and was starstruck. Even at five years old, she was beautiful. My heart sped up, and we walked to the classroom together. I was trying to keep up with her, but everyone was in front of me. When we got to the classroom, however, luck was on my side…..

She was put in the seat next to mine, and she introduced herself.

“Hi, my name’s Jesse. What’s yours?”

“I’m Jacobus. But you can call me Jake for short. Or Jacob. Nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you as well.”

Then the teacher began speaking again, and said we were going to be tested for special abilities individually in a separate room. I didn’t know what they were talking about, but I soon found out…..

We were called in alphabetical order, and when it was Jesse’s turn, I wished her good luck, giving her the biggest smile I could muster, and I touched her arm, being as affectionate as I could.

“Thanks,” she said, returning the smile, beaming from ear to ear, and quickly squeezing my hand. I blushed, then I watched as she was gone. She came back, and then I was next. I didn’t know what to expect, my heart was racing, my palms were shaking, and I was sweating.
She whispered in my ear, “I’m an Alchemist.”
I whispered back “What?”, but then they called my name again, irritated I wasn’t paying attention. But I ran my hand through my hair, and got up and went to the man that was “testing” us. He took my hand, and took me to a room. The man in black began talking to someone, and I found if I focused, I could hear what he was saying.

“William Trolanski is a werewolf. So what do you think the chances are of his son Jacobus turning?”

“I think there’s a 100 percent chance of Jacobus becoming one when he turns 16. But until then, he’s going to develop his abilties, we just don’t know what yet, being that it varies from father to son. But he will be a werewolf.”

Then I realized he was coming out, and quickly turned and pretended I was staring at the opposite colorful wall.

“Hello son. How are you today?”

“Pretty good. Um, why am I here?”

“Because we’re testing you for special abilities that you might have when you’re older. It’s important, and you’ll be glad we did.”

Then they did a whole bunch of things, giving me a clean pair of gym shorts, socks, a shirt, and sneakers. They stuck weird sticky things, (which I know now what that is), to my chest and arms, connected to a bunch of wires, and asked me to run on a treadmill. I ran faster than I ever did before, and I broke it. They measured my strength, and asked me to growl like a wolf or a dog. When all the tests were over, they went into the room and talked. Then they came back out, and began talking to me again.

“Son, do you know why you broke that treadmill, or you’re incredibly strong?”

“No, sir. Why can I do what I did in those tests?”

“Because you’re a werewolf; half human, half wolf. You’re already undergoing all the changes, and by the time your 16 birthday arrives, you’ll change completely. Your body is already preparing itself for the major change that your father went through when he was 16.”

“I-I-I-I-I-I-I’m a werewolf? But I thought they weren’t real; that’s what my mom told me.”

“That’s because your mom doesn’t know they exist. You completely inherited your father’s genes, and you are truly an inhabitant of the Night World, the neighboring dimension to Earth, and in order to be that, you had to be born there. Do you remember being born on Earth?”

“No, no one really told me my birthplace.”

“That’s because you weren’t born here, and no one except your father knows that. And your mom is only your mom because your father married her. Your real mom is somewhere in the Night World, and was probably a surrogate mother for your father, a werewolf as well.”

“Oh, wow! Wait, what does surrogate mean? I’m only five…..”

“It means she was paid by your father to have you. The Night World is full of werewolves, that’s why he did it. To have a full werewolf son instead of half.”

“What will happen when I change?”

“Well, you’re too young to know that, and we don’t really know anything either, except that you’ll find your werewolf mate. That’s all; you’ll have to find the rest out when your 16.”

“And do all my classmates have different abilities? Am I the only one?”

I didn’t dare to bring up what Jesse told me before it was my turn, cause I knew she would get in trouble.

“No, you’re not, and you and your classmates will probably be split up. The only class you’ll share is Mrs. Kirsten’s class; then you won’t see your roommates unless they specialize in your werewolf abilities as well.”

“Oh. Well that stinks, I made a friend already.”

“Well, that’s life kiddo. Sorry.”

Then I was led back to the classroom, and I sat down next to Jesse, upset knowing I wasn’t going to be able to see her hardly anymore.

“What did you specialize in? I’m an alchemist, which means I can use chemistry and combine it with magic.”

“I’m a werewolf. Half human, half wolf.”

“That’s cool! I’m jealous; what did you have to do for your testing? You were gone a really long time!”

“I ran on a treadmill, and broke it, running faster than the treadmill could handle. Then they tested my strength and endurance, and also asked me to growl like a wolf. And the scary part was, I sounded like it when I growled!”

“Wow! I’m still jealous, but I really like you! I think you’re cool, and I hope we can be good friends!”

“Of course we can!”

“Alright, class. Listen to me, I’ve got all your results back, and I’m going to split you up into groups based on the categories you’ve been assigned to.”

“Sirius Lazarro, Jacobus Trolanski, and Brutus Williams, please form a group over by the whiteboard.”

We followed her directions, and a new teacher came in.

“Hello Sirius, Brutus, and Jacobus. My name is Mr. Roberts, and after meeting with Mrs. Kristen for morning activities, I will come and pick up you three for your specialized activities in the area our brilliant scientists have placed you in. If you would come with me please.”

I looked at Jesse one last time with a sad expression, then left, my head hung down in sorrow as we were led away…..

We were led into a big training room, with weights, treadmills, dummies for attacking, boxing equipement, and other training things for fighting other students. Then we were given sweatpants, a sweatshirt with the school’s logo on it, a groin cup, shin pads, elbow pads, a boxing helmet, regular climbing gloves, and boxing gloves. We spent those three hours sweating it out, climbing ropes, running on treadmills, fighting dummies, boxing, and having Sirius, Brutus, and I fight each other. When it was time for lunch, I was so happy. I was starving. But we took showers first in the locker room, and changed back into our academy clothes. I had left my tie on my shirt, so I wouldn’t have to do it again. Then I walked to the lunch room with Sirius and Brutus, me leading them and they flanked me to my left and my right. I saw Jesse, and was excited, but I didn’t know if she wanted me to sit with her or not. Then she waved me over, and I went and sat with her. Brutus and Sirius came with me, and we had a good time. We were led away again from each other, and then the afternoon session was spent learning how to meditate and get to “our inner wolves.” When the final bell rang, I was exhausted and ready to go home. I fell asleep on the bus, but woke up when my senses told me I was at my house. I ran down the steps and up to my door, taking the key out and going inside. Then the phone rang…..


“Hi, Jake, this is Jesse.”

“Oh, hello! What a surprise! How are you?”

“Exhausted and tired. You?”

“Same here. Did you have to fight, run on treadmills, climb ropes, and do boxing? The only relaxing part was in the afternoon when we did history and learned how to meditate and connect with our inner selves.”

“Lucky. We learned chemistry, physics, history, and magic. But um, listen, I think I live near you, a few houses down, cause I saw you get off the bus. So do you wanna hang out?”

“Um sure, as long as we stay in the neighborhood.”

Then I met her at her house, and I told her I knew a gravel road with trees on each side that would take us around the neighborhood. As we approached the Speed Limit sign, she grabbed my hand, and we walked that way the whole way. She kissed me, and then I knew what we would have would be more than friendship….

We hung out for the next seven years, and she moved away when we were 12. I would miss her, but little did I know we would reunite when I was accepted to Brooke University; she was held back a year because she needed more time on her alchemy skills, but we would meet again. Fate wouldn’t let us be apart…..

Image  —  Posted: January 19, 2013 in Uncategorized

1st Verse:
You said you loved me, but my heart would never let that be.

I broke yours, trying to say sorry but you wouldn’t accept my words.

I tried to apologize,

I said I’m sorry for cheating on you with them other guys.

But they’re just words, that’s all they’ll ever be.

And as you walked away, I begged you to stay and never leave.


It’s all my fault; now you’re gone.

I realize now that I was wrong.

Will you come back ever again?

I want you back,

Why can’t you see that?

Sad times are here again.

2nd Verse:

Now I’m walking by myself through the city streets,

Without you, I feel lonely and beat.

Yeah, you were my best part,

And sometimes my worst, but I wish we could last.

I loved you, but never told you that.

Regretting everything I did now looking back.

I really love you, I really do.

Now I need your love, that’s the truth.

Your name is tattooed forever on my heart,

Because I love you, and I always will, even when we’re apart.


I miss your smile,

Since we only lasted a little while.

Will you ever forgive me for what I did?

I know you’ll never forgive or forget,

But the pain I truly regret.

Now sad times are here again.


I’m gonna watch you sleep at night,

Wishing everything I did wrong I could fix and make it all right.

I’m gonna miss your blue eyes,

And the way you held me when I cried.

So please listen to me,

My heart is crying and I wanna let you know I’m sorry.

End Chorus:

I loved you, you knew that.

But now I can’t have you back,

And I understand what I did.

So please remember me,

And what we had will always be….

I love you with all my heart,

Now it’s a new start…

But sad times will always be.

How to Be A Writer (A Biography of My Life as a Writer)

It all began at the end of ninth grade. I was taking the “regular” English class, English 9 Regents. Well, I didn’t enjoy that class, and I talked to my guidance counselor expressing my thoughts, telling her that I would enjoy taking something else instead of the the “regular” English class. So I agreed to take English 10 Writing Studio, and waited anxiously all summer for September, to begin my new class, and my new journey as a writer……

On September 9, 2009, I woke up at 5:30 a.m. to catch the 6:30 bus that would take me to school. I straightened my hair, applied my makeup, re-inserted my earrings, applied deodorant, ate cereal, got dressed and brushed my teeth. Then I put on my kicks and headed the door. It was unusually warm for that time of year, but I’d rather have nice summer any day. (We get a lot of snow here in CNY for at least three months, maybe four). When I was arrived, I found my tenth grade friends and sat at that table, conversing and catching up, sharing memories from that summer. But what I was really anxious for was my Writing Studio class fourth period….

My first two periods went by quickly, and I struggled to find my way down to the basement where my new class was. I honestly didn’t know what to expect as I took the stairs down to the basement, the way I took in junior high and to gym the first three years of high school. When I arrived, all I could do was gasp…

I had made my way past the basement gym, the wood shop and tech classes, and the custodians’ office, until I took a sharp turn left and into a long hallway where I knew the kitchens were. The first door on the left was labeled “The Writing Studio,” and I figured that’s where I was going….

When I entered the room, like I said before, I gasped. It wasn’t like the English classes I’ve been in before. The atmosphere was warm and inviting, and the teacher, (I guessed), was beaming at me and waved to me to come in. I had no choice as the door slammed behind me. I introduced myself, and she said,
“Hello, I’m Ms. Triplett, the writing studio teacher for grades 10, 11, and 12. It’s very nice to meet you, Becky; you’ll have a good year in here I promise. Why don’t you take a seat anywhere you’d like?”
“Alright, thank you, Ms. Triplett, it’s very nice to meet you as well.”
Before taking my seat, I looked around the room. There was a pillar close to the door, a few feet from where I was standing when I entered, and the teacher’s desk, with a computer and piles of papers, and a TV above Ms. Triplett’s head. I saw some computers lining the far eastern wall, two printers, and a very Apple personal computer. In the back was a long heater with buckets of things, which later we learned one of those black buckets contained folders for our writing portfolios, and they were also filled with markers, crayons, extra pens and pencils, glue sticks, and scissors. Below that were six separated bookshelves with two separated columns top and bottom filled with books, that I learned we could borrow at anytime. Also, we would use those books for various projects throughout the year. Then I got my journal out as the late bell rang, and a few students piled in just in time. Ms. Triplett stood up, and introduced herself. She explained her Southern background, why she wanted to be a teacher, her kids that she adopted, and how she came to be the writing studio teacher at my high school. Then she explained our first project, which was designing covers for our journals cutting out pictures from magazines which we believed reflected us, and to explain them in a two minute presentation in front of the class….

We had a discussion about why each one of us decided to join Writing Studio, our hopes, our dreams, what we wanted to do with our lives after high school and beyond. Then the bell rang, we all groaned, and proceeded to head to our next class. I was really excited, and I had enjoyed the first day of Writing Studio, and that I would never go back to “regular” English classes ever again….

So I presented my journal, I can’t remember all the pictures, but I think it was like a pair of sneakers I wanted, Taylor Swift, books I liked at that time, my favorite candy, and the one thing I loved the most: softball. Throughout the year, which believe me, passed by very quickly, we did various writing projects and read books (individual, small groups, about two to three people, and class readings). I enjoyed all of this, and through this class, I discovered my writing talents, after a heart-to-heart discussion with Ms. Triplett. It was because of her that I’ve decided to be a writer; she inspired me to write and work hard to fulfill my dreams….

June came, along with end of the year fever and finals. I studied and worked hard, and aced all my final exams, especially my Writing Studio one. I signed up for English Writing Studio 11, which was the English Regents year. So I knew I would have to work a lot harder and study harder to ace the Regents. It was also the year I’d have to take my SATs, so I knew I’d better pay attention in that class. The summer came, and I trashed all of my papers except for Writing Studio, glad to be out of school. I did chores while my parents and siblings were gone at summer school and work. Then, it was time to go to Tennessee for a week on vacation, and I earned a lot of spending money to buy things at various places we visited in Gaitlinburg. We had a nice cabin in Gaitlinburg, it was huge! It was nice because I could relax and let all my troubles go away, even if was only a week. The ride down wasn’t fun, twelve hours normally, but it took us fourteen. I slept a little and then counted big rigs and enjoyed the sights as we drove through Pennsylvania, Virginia, West Virginia, Maryland, and then Tennessee to Gaitlinburg. That was the third week of August, and the rest of the summer passed quickly. Soon, school came around again, and I was excited, but only cause of Writing Studio….

That year passed quickly as well, and honestly wasn’t my favorite, but I still enjoyed Writing Studio with the same spark I had walking in that September day of 2009. We read The Crucible, which I hated, and Nineteen minutes, which I wasn’t too glad about either. That was with our long term subsitute Ms. Willis, and then my future writing studio teacher, Mrs. Bottle, would sit in our class and do work, sometimes participating in our discussions and reading with us as well. But I eventually grew close to Ms. Willis as I had with Ms. Triplett, and I talk to her sometimes still today, thanks to my good friend Brittany Lindhorst. The Regents came before I knew it, and I have to admit, it’s the hardest English exam I took. I ended up with an 85, five points short of my goal. Oh well, I knew that I tried my hardest though….

Then came another long summer, which I spent doing chores, writing, and swiming in the pool. I had a good summer as I always do, then September came again way too quickly. I was taking Writing Studio once again, and this time, they split the Writing Studio up, dividing into 9-10, and 11-12. Guess who got Ms. Triplett? The 9 and 10 graders; us juniors and seniors were stuck with Mrs. Bottle. Just like the English regents, that year was tough as well, being that we had to do a senior portfolio. It was a lot of writing, poems, essays, writing responses, short stories, movies, story journeys, writing analyzation, and our college essay. Mine recieved a 100, and got me accepted to TC3 and SUNY Canton, thankfully. Then I made my final decision, and decided to TC3 for Creative Writing with a focus on poetry, prose and drama. The year was long and hard, but I passed it with a 90 average and also created a well-developed writing portfolio and anthology, which I got to keep after they were graded. I earned a very high grade on it, which I was very happy because I knew I worked very hard on it. TThen the graduation ceremony rehearsal came, and it was very hot that day. Graduation was even worse, with the polyester robes, and lasting 2 and a half hours. I was finally glad to get my diploma from my principal, Mr. Brafman, and hug my class advisor and social studies teacher, (well, one of them), Mrs. Gregory. I almost cried because I knew I would miss her as well; she was one of the other people I was close with during my high school career. I wanted to yell “See ya suckers!” and flash the peace sign, but my parents, grandparents, two older sisters, and younger brother, who will be graduating this year, were there. I was so happy to get out of that robe after, and then to celebrate, we went to Friendly’s for ice cream and soda. It was ten o’ clock, and I was tired. When I got home, I was utterly exhausted, but happy and content that I finally got my diploma and graduated from high school. I took my shower and went to bed, getting the best sleep of my life that night….

This story’s almost over, but just a few more things to tell. That summer, I finalzed things with TC3, and then got ready for college and Tennessee again. (We go on family vacation to Gaitlinburg and Pigeon Forge every two years.) I did chores, and also had my graduation party the Sunday after graduation. I ended up with 1000 dollars in graduation gifts, and also received 50 cards (or was it 60?!) that made me laugh and cry. I also saw my friends and family, and wore the same dress I wore for graduation. I had a lot of fun, and I was always occupied with all the people that came to my party. That tired me out too, and I was glad when it ended at 6 o’ clock, and I thanked everyone for coming and then chilled out and went to bed early. The rest of the summer passed, and soon it was time to go to Tennessee. It was a lot of fun, and then I got everything ready for orientation the next week and to move into the dorms. Orientation wasn’t fun, but then I got to meet my advisors for Creative Writing with a focus on Prose, Poetry, and Drama. Mr. Phillip Tate is a very cool guy, and today I’m attending TC3, and I’m glad to say I survived my first semester! My dream is to eventually be a published writer, but I know that I’ll have to find other means of supporting myself, since we don’t receive a lot of money as other careers. Also, I want to live in a nice Penthouse in NYC, with a nice view, and have a weekly column in the New York Times or some other newspaper or magazine. Right now, I’m working on a novel, which I have the first two parts published on here, and I also write poems and songs that maybe I’ll sing someday, but not now. And this is me, everything I’ve ever wanted, all I’ve ever done. I hope you enjoy it!

A Future Writer

Image  —  Posted: January 12, 2013 in Uncategorized

Posted: January 12, 2013 in Uncategorized

nice! 🙂

Abraham Thinkin'

The hearts of teenage girls broke around the world last week (and many boys’ fists began to PUMP) when news broke that yet another one of Taylor Swift’s relationships had come to an abrupt end. Since October, she had been dating One Direction’s Harry Styles, a kid four years younger but probably just as mature as she is. Now, don’t get me wrong – I have nothing against Taylor Swift. She is young, successful, has good music, and is a good role model…or at least, she used to be. It seems like within the past year or two, she has transformed her image from a loveable-yet-untouchable girl next door to that clingy celebrity girl who likes to date other celebrities then write songs about their breakups.

In honor of this auspicious occasion, I thought I would revisit some of the most adorable – and awful – moments of her…

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A Shocking Discovery

Posted: January 11, 2013 in Uncategorized

“You might think you’ve peeped the scene, you haven’t, the real one’s far too mean. The watered down one, the one you know, was made up centuries ago. They made it sound all whack and corny, yes it’s awful, blasted, boring. Twisted fiction, sick addiction, gather round children, zip it listen.” – Nicki Minaj 

Could this be a warning for the future? I’ve been enlightened recently, and I found out my world isn’t what it seems. ….

When I was born, I was baptized the traditional way Christians normally do it, sprinkled with holy water. I’ve been raised as a Christian all my life, and I deeply believed in it and practiced this faith. I breathed in deep the pastor’s words, and lived them and recited them as they were my own. I’ve been doing this for 19 years, until I was enlightened and found out things weren’t the way I was taught….

I discovered recently something that deeply shattered my soul. I’m not sure what’s going on anymore, I’m broken and twisted. Everything I’ve been told is all lies, ALL LIES. I’ve been asleep for 19 years of my life, and now I finally woke up. I’m awake, and I see the truth, everything that’s been in front of me this whole time. Christians lie and twist the Bible and God’s word, they don’t say what’s in the Bible exactly. I’ve been brainwashed my entire life, I just wish I realized what I realized now before….

This quote, when I heard it in the song, I immediately understood what it meant, being a Nicki fan, and also because it applies to me personally. I was put through hell all these years, but now I’m happy because I know the truth.

So take these words to heed, and live them. Cause one day they could come true….